Category: Dating

Compatibility

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Let’s talk compatibility. It is entirely possible to share the same life values, philosophy or career, and still not have chemistry. Personal life experience, hobbies and goals, may simply not mesh. Just because you find that a man isn’t your cup of tea, doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. I once had coffee with a gentleman who told me that he worked from sun up to sun down, had dinner and went to bed. Six days a week. He had never traveled far from home and didn’t care to start now. Traveling is a way of life for me, so a shared work ethic wasn’t enough. He was a decent person, but definitely not for me.
The man who couldn’t stop talking about his military special ops and dropping names of high level politicians may have been trying to impress me, but it had the opposite effect. I’m military, political, and always interested in listening to veterans tell of their experiences. But, there are more aspects to life than just being a badass. I admire all the good he has done, but we were definitely not compatible.

One man’s actions totally melted my heart. I’m not sure it would have had the same effect on all women, but what he did spoke volumes to me about his character. We had been dating for a short time. One day we were talking on the phone and I told him I wanted to carry a concealed weapon. I was weighing my options concerning weapons, holsters, etc., as I had never carried a weapon in this manner. The next day he came to see me and took off his weapon, belt and holster. He put them on me and started explaining different options I could consider. He wanted me to know what it felt like so I could get an idea of what would work for me. He wasn’t being a know-it-all or trying to show what a ‘big man’ he was. He was educating me and being patient. He was showing that he cared about my safety.

There are men I greatly admire whom I would never consider as a partner. They are good men, just not for me. So when you are working through your criteria for a mate, there’s no reason to trash someone just because they aren’t right for YOU. You’ll be surprised how many real friends you can make on the journey of finding the partner of your dreams.

Dating World

You’re a single man or woman and you’d like to date, to socialize and enjoy your life. Instead, you find you are depleting your bank account and feeling demoralized after an endless string of disastrous dates. Where are you going wrong? Where are the ‘good’ people? Where is the joy?

Article after article tries to explain why men and women aren’t getting married or having long relationships. Men, they say, have no incentive to keep one woman in their life; women don’t need men to ‘take care of them’ anymore; men are like children; women only want children and the lists go on and on. Battle of the sexes continuing ad nauseum.

What no one is talking about is the WHY! Why bother having a relationship at all, especially if you can get the sex for free these days. According to this particular article (and this article contains typical whining and gnashing of teeth), sex is the only reason a man would marry. I find that to be disrespectful to the many wonderful men I know. Are they saying that men don’t want love, companionship, children or a partner in life? If they are saying that men are nothing more than rutting pigs, then I would certainly wonder why women should care anything about them.

Women are, (referencing same article) little more than black widow spiders. They wish to mate in order to produce children, then wish to have the man out of their lives. Well, of course, after taking half of everything the man has earned. Gold-digger black widow spiders. Shrews, the lot of them!

If you are going into the world of dating with these types of attitudes, you are assured absolute failure.

The purpose of this blog section is to assist people in communicating more effectively. Before one can communicate effectively, one needs to know what they really want to communicate! Are you really wanting a compatible partner or not? Defining what kind of relationship you are thinking about will help you to find it. Maybe your lifestyle right now is more suited to just having friends. Maybe you are ready to make room in your life for a long term relationship. Maybe you want a family.

Knowing yourself is the first step. Then you can be open to knowing and understanding another. I hope these writings will be helpful. It’s time to be nice to each other, be honest with ourselves and get our civilization moving in the right direction. (No, that doesn’t mean we are going to sit around the fire in Utopia singing Kumbaya. But, we have a long way to go just to regain civility)

We will have some dating Do and Don’t lists. There will be dating stories, with both good and bad experiences. This will not be your typical Dating site! There will be no ‘man-bashing’ or ‘woman-bashing.’  I look forward to any questions you may have!