What is parenting?

Reason is the cornerstone of parenting. Parenting is the actions one takes to train a mind and nurture a spirit, enabling a human being to become an independent individual. Parenting is not a passive activity.

This page of Raising Reason is about inspiring parents to think about the ‘how’ and the ‘why’ of raising an independent, happy child. There are no 7 rules, 5 events or even a 12-step program. There is reason. There is your brain and your ability to use it. The goal is to better understand what it is to be a human being, to be an individual and learn to enjoy our relationships.

We will address current events and trends, as well as personal experiences, to give real examples of how reason works in our relationships. No one is a perfect parent, but the best parents continue to learn and grow along with their child. Some of your best parenting may not be remembered by your child, but it will be reflected in them. Whether you are just thinking about having children, in the middle of it all or your children are grown, I hope the writings here will be educational and helpful.



Let’s talk compatibility. It is entirely possible to share the same life values, philosophy or career, and still not have chemistry. Personal life experience, hobbies and goals, may simply not mesh. Just because you find that a man isn’t your cup of tea, doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. I once had coffee with a gentleman who told me that he worked from sun up to sun down, had dinner and went to bed. Six days a week. He had never traveled far from home and didn’t care to start now. Traveling is a way of life for me, so a shared work ethic wasn’t enough. He was a decent person, but definitely not for me.
The man who couldn’t stop talking about his military special ops and dropping names of high level politicians may have been trying to impress me, but it had the opposite effect. I’m military, political, and always interested in listening to veterans tell of their experiences. But, there are more aspects to life than just being a badass. I admire all the good he has done, but we were definitely not compatible.

One man’s actions totally melted my heart. I’m not sure it would have had the same effect on all women, but what he did spoke volumes to me about his character. We had been dating for a short time. One day we were talking on the phone and I told him I wanted to carry a concealed weapon. I was weighing my options concerning weapons, holsters, etc., as I had never carried a weapon in this manner. The next day he came to see me and took off his weapon, belt and holster. He put them on me and started explaining different options I could consider. He wanted me to know what it felt like so I could get an idea of what would work for me. He wasn’t being a know-it-all or trying to show what a ‘big man’ he was. He was educating me and being patient. He was showing that he cared about my safety.

There are men I greatly admire whom I would never consider as a partner. They are good men, just not for me. So when you are working through your criteria for a mate, there’s no reason to trash someone just because they aren’t right for YOU. You’ll be surprised how many real friends you can make on the journey of finding the partner of your dreams.

Standing With France?

Student officers display a US giant national flag on the Trocadero square with the Eiffel tower in the background during a solemn tribute to the victims of the 9/11 attacks on September 11, 2011 in Paris. Several commemorations are held in France today to mark the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks which killed almost 3,000 people in NYC and Washington and plunged the US into an era of war. AFP PHOTO / FRED DUFOUR (Photo credit should read FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images)

I am not standing with France. I AM standing for civilized mankind. You know what else I am? I’m a human being who is sick and tired of the carnage; of the inability of world and local leaders to identity the real problems; of total inaction by those tasked with defense of the citizenry. I mourn the innocent dead and I hate those who murdered them. I’ve stood with Israel, France, Boston, Fort Hood, Tennessee. What does ‘stand with’ even mean? Sure, we sympathize. Then what?

We are at war. We are at war with Iran and several other nations who support Islamic jihad. World leaders know who is responsible. Yes, they know. But, they will not act to eradicate the threat. After each act of jihad, the propaganda machines go into overdrive to convince people that it was an isolated event or that it was perpetrated by governments to gain more control over the people (lovely conspiracy theories).
Those who still have brain cells intact know this war has been going on a long time. Islamic jihadists have waged a very long and orchestrated attack against civilization. They are emboldened by those who refuse to identify them and fail to mount a proper defense against them.

The fight has already come to our doorstep. September 11, 2001, Fort Hood, the military recruiting stations and Boston; strangers stalking military families near their homes; a proliferation of mosques/Islamic Learning Centers around the country; our nation’s courts deliberating on the legality of allowing Sharia Law (totally unConstitutional, by the way);and Hamtramk, Michigan, now has an all-Muslim city council. If you know nothing of these things, it’s time you learned.

The government has the job of defending the citizens against enemy attacks. They have failed in a spectacular fashion. So what do we Americans do right now?

1) Buy guns and ammo. Learn how to use them. Carry them.

2) Call and email every one of your elected representatives, from your mayor to your Congressman, and let them know you will not allow Invasion by Immigration to happen in your town or state. One person CAN make a difference, so don’t tell me it won’t matter if you call. If you don’t call, I can guarantee that you will forever know in your heart that you didn’t even try to save your country, your freedom and your way of life. One call. One email.

3) Keep living. And loving. And caring. We don’t get this time back. It IS possible to fight evil and live happily at the same time. There are a lot of us fighting for this country and the principles of Individual Rights. No one person has to fight alone every waking moment. I’m certainly not asking anyone to do that. I’m just asking that you sign up for a shift or perform a few tasks.

Thanks for listening.

Veteran’s Day

Someone told a veteran that their service in the military didn’t count, because that veteran wasn’t in a war. Ok. Let me explain something to all who do not understand what it means to put your name on the dotted line, raise your hand to take that oath, then put on that uniform.
It doesn’t matter what is going on in the world, war or peace, when an individual joins the military, because everything can change in an instant. By putting on that uniform, you say “Whatever happens, I’m here to defend life, liberty and our Constitution. I’m willing to change my life in a way that few ever do. I’m prepared to be away from my home and family; to live in terrible conditions; to be hot, cold, hungry, hurting, miserable beyond what many ever experience; to be bored out of my mind with tedious, mundane work. I’m willing to be called away from my home at a moments notice, having no idea when I may return. I’m willing to stand guard while others sleep, to kill enemies that would harm us and to witness horror, so that the majority won’t have to do it. I’m prepared to die to preserve our way of life.”
A man joins the military in 1941. He is sent to Hawaii on December 1st. Do you really think he thought he might die six days later? Or that he would watch his friends die? Or that he would be pulling burned, mangled bodies out of wreckage? No. But, he was there.
The man who joined in January, 1945, was never deployed to a foreign country. His entire 20 year service was in relative peace time, most of it at Ft. Leavenworth in the kitchen. He was there.
The man who joined in 1989 with a great assignment on Azores, ended up deployed in Desert Storm. He wasn’t infantry. He was in supply. He was there.
The woman who had served 18 years, working as a secretary on bases around the world, was looking forward to her last assignment at the Pentagon. She never killed anyone, never fired a shot at an enemy and her worst injury was a papercut…until September 11, 2001. She was there.
When we join, we have no idea what will happen. When we join the military, we pray there will be no war, only peace. But, if that doesn’t happen…We Are There.

Dating World

You’re a single man or woman and you’d like to date, to socialize and enjoy your life. Instead, you find you are depleting your bank account and feeling demoralized after an endless string of disastrous dates. Where are you going wrong? Where are the ‘good’ people? Where is the joy?

Article after article tries to explain why men and women aren’t getting married or having long relationships. Men, they say, have no incentive to keep one woman in their life; women don’t need men to ‘take care of them’ anymore; men are like children; women only want children and the lists go on and on. Battle of the sexes continuing ad nauseum.

What no one is talking about is the WHY! Why bother having a relationship at all, especially if you can get the sex for free these days. According to this particular article (and this article contains typical whining and gnashing of teeth), sex is the only reason a man would marry. I find that to be disrespectful to the many wonderful men I know. Are they saying that men don’t want love, companionship, children or a partner in life? If they are saying that men are nothing more than rutting pigs, then I would certainly wonder why women should care anything about them.

Women are, (referencing same article) little more than black widow spiders. They wish to mate in order to produce children, then wish to have the man out of their lives. Well, of course, after taking half of everything the man has earned. Gold-digger black widow spiders. Shrews, the lot of them!

If you are going into the world of dating with these types of attitudes, you are assured absolute failure.

The purpose of this blog section is to assist people in communicating more effectively. Before one can communicate effectively, one needs to know what they really want to communicate! Are you really wanting a compatible partner or not? Defining what kind of relationship you are thinking about will help you to find it. Maybe your lifestyle right now is more suited to just having friends. Maybe you are ready to make room in your life for a long term relationship. Maybe you want a family.

Knowing yourself is the first step. Then you can be open to knowing and understanding another. I hope these writings will be helpful. It’s time to be nice to each other, be honest with ourselves and get our civilization moving in the right direction. (No, that doesn’t mean we are going to sit around the fire in Utopia singing Kumbaya. But, we have a long way to go just to regain civility)

We will have some dating Do and Don’t lists. There will be dating stories, with both good and bad experiences. This will not be your typical Dating site! There will be no ‘man-bashing’ or ‘woman-bashing.’  I look forward to any questions you may have!